Sophie Zhang 1/14/22 Sophie Zhang 1/14/22

I am a cat mom now!

I made a huge commitment last Sunday - I adopted a cat from BC SPCA!

If you told me that I would have a cat about a year ago, I would never have believed you. I grew up with a small Pomeranian (RIP Towel) and I have loved dogs all my life. I have always imagined that I would have a small dog but ever since I met my friend Deepak’s cat Suki, I totally fell in love with cats!

I have never planned to get pets in college or during the first couple of years of my professional life. I have always scared of the lifetime commitment and the efforts that owners had to put in to care for their pets. I was also afraid that having a pet would be disruptive to my lifestyle - before the pandemic, I took long leisure trips at least once a year, and I would also spend a significant time visiting family in China. Therefore, owning a pet seems to be an irresponsible thing to do at the time.

However, after I transferred to Microsoft Vancouver and had to work from home full-time due to Covid-19 pandemic, I realized how lonely I was every day. The idea of having a pet was then seeded in my mind.

Initially my landlord doesn’t allow pets in my rental apartment at all. Once my first-year rental contract is up, I started pegging my landlord about allowing a pet. Despite initial hesitations, my landlord caved and granted me permission to have a small cat, though I had to pay extra pet deposit and a slightly higher rent every month. As soon as I obtained my landlord’s approval, I started searching for rescue cats that I would like to adopt.

I have always been very against buying pets from breeders, because there are so many homeless animals in need of a forever home, so I was only going to adopt a kitty from a shelter or a rescue group.

I spent hours every day browsing rescue societies’ web and FB pages to check available cats for adoption. I refresh BC SPCA and Petfinder websites and apps daily, and apply to every cat that peaked interests in me. Finally, on a Thursday evening, when I opened my Petfinder app for some casual browsing just before bed, I saw a new adoption post - a young domestic short-hair & Siamese kitty’s profile was just uploaded. As soon as I saw his photos, I had a feeling that this is the cat I want. Immediately, I applied for him on BC SPCA website.

As if everything is meant to be, I got a call from BC SPCA the next day to chat about the young domestic short-hair & Siamese kitty. I had a pleasant conversation with the SPCA staff, where we talked about the kitty’s personality, foster-home behavior and how I would take care of him. When Sunday comes around, I Uber-ed to West Vancouver SPCA and took Tomlette home.

As soon as we get home, Tomlette found a crack under my bed and went straight in. He also started meowing almost non-stop. I put his food, litter box and water fountain in my bedroom to make him feel comfortable, then I just went off to finish up my other errands.

The first night was rough for both of us. Tomlette meowed all night and zoomed around the apartment. I couldn’t sleep either because I was always worried about him. However, starting the second day, Tomlette started eating, sleeping, playing and using the litter box properly. By day 3, I was even able to rub his chin and give him a proper grooming session.

Tomlette ventures out from under the bed cautiously

As a first-time cat mom, I am still learning how to take care of him. I still yet to learn how to cut his nails, bathe him, wash his ears and brush his teeth when needed. Tomlette’s life depends on me now. Because he was rescued with 70 other cats from a motor home in Squamish, he was under-socialized and is still a bit skittish. However, he is getting out of his shell more and more every day, and I can’t wait for many happy times ahead of us <3.

Sophie Zhang 10/10/21 Sophie Zhang 10/10/21

Why going along so much?

I was recently told by a coworker that as a technical program manager, I am pretty bad at pushing back at other people’s requests or opinions.

When I heard about this feedback, I instantly agreed to it - but I agreed to this assessment not because that I didn’t think this opinion through this time; instead, I’ve been aware that deep down, I tend to go along with whatever other people (my parents, relatives, friends, coworkers, etc) say or think without giving their opinions much thought of my own.

At work, since I work for a enormous tech company, collaborating with and filing dependencies to other teams are evitable part of my job. In general, every team has their own best interest at heart, so whatever solutions to a mutual problem that we are trying to solve are always going to be most beneficial to each team. I find myself often agree to other teams’ proposals during meetings without really thinking through their consequences. Sometimes those proposals are great ones, but sometimes my own team would question them and then I would be like “oops, I really didn’t think of this problem this way.”

Why do I go along with others’ opinions or suggestions so much? I know that I am a bit indecisive at times but I do have a mind of my own - heck, I chose to leave home and moved to a new country at 16! It was my decision. It was also my decision to build my future in North America instead of returning to China after college graduation. It was my decision to study abroad in U.K. in college; it was my decision to change my undergraduate major from biomedical engineering to electrical & computer engineering… I know I am not a mindless girl who cannot make a decision ever, but why do I tend to go along with others in life more often than when I am not?

After some retrospections, I think this is a deep-rooted culture issue. I have always been considered a “good, docile kid” (听话的好孩子 in Chinese) by everyone in my family. I did everything my parents told me to do and was never rebellious like other teenagers: I studied hard at school, never had any boyfriends, went to all of my tutorial classes dilligently, and never acted against my parents’ wish in any way. Everyone praised me for my behaviors, because I never pushed back any requests, and therefore never caused any troubles.

My parents still call me a “good, docile kid” today, but now I hate this praise from the past. To me, it sounds like I am happy with having my life arranged by others and I have no mind of my own. I grew up with the eagerness to please everyone around me, and that eagerness transitioned into constantly saying yes to everything in life.

Gaining elders’ approval is an important thing in China, and every kid is expected to conform. Once a kid conforms to this norm, he or she will be rewarded with praise and sometimes materialistic reward. I was so used to conform and eager to obtain approvals from authority figures when I was a kid, and that culture of collectivism shaped me into the agreeable person I am today.

However, in North America culture, individualism triumphs over collectivism. You are expected to show your unique flair and personal traits in everything you do in order to find success in life - the part of me that is so used to collectivism and conformity is still struggling to adapt, even 10 years after.

I can’t wait for the day that I become the stronger me - the “me” that is very comfortable making the best decision that I can make at the moment, without caring too much about what others think of me, and become simply a “good kid”, instead of a “good, docile kid”.

Sophie Zhang 7/17/21 Sophie Zhang 7/17/21

Movie Review: Jane Eyre (2011)

This movie is based on the classic English literature Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë that was first published in 1847, so you probably already know the story, even if you have never seen this movie - that is why I didn’t put spoiler alert in the title.

Jane Eyre is one of my favorite classic literature books. When I was a teenager, I went through a phase where I was really obsessed with classic English novels, especially with the romance and life during Victoria era in England. Books like Pride and Prejudice, Persuasion, Far from the Maddening Crowd and Wuthering Heights had certainly left a mark in my young mind, and was probably the subconscious reason pushed me to study abroad in U.K when I was in college (and absolutely loved my time there!).

Cary Joji Fukunaga’s 2011 adaptation of Jane Eyre transformed and immersed me into the Victorian era life that I was obsessed about as a teenage girl. Its cinematography was excellent and the faithful production design was top notch. I especially liked the use of color and nature to reflect the mood of Jane Eyre - the frame was noticeably brighter and more colorful when Jane was happy and in love, but grey and dark when she was in pain. I vividly remember the famous chapter in the book when Jane and Mr. Rochester confessed love to each other for the first time in the garden of Thornfield Hall, the weather started turning stormy and rainy, like a foreshadow for their doomed wedding. The movie had done the scene beautifully, where Jane’s famous speech about her being “poor and obscure” pulled my heartspring and I desperately wanted Jane and Mr. Rochester to get together and live happily ever since.

The acting was also excellent. To be honest, I was a little surprised about how wonderful Mia Wasikowska was as Jane, since I thought she was good, but not great, in Alice in Wonderland and Crimson Peak. However, her performance was stoic yet sensitive, and captured the strong and independent nature of Jane in a subtle, quiet way. She also had great chemistry with Michael Fassbender, in my opinion.

Michael Fassbender was a great Mr. Rochester as well, though at times I thought he’s almost too attractive to play Edward Fairfax Rochester. However, his attractiveness has a small amount of sinister to it (maybe I associate him with Magneto too much), which was perfect for a gothic romatic story like Jane Eyre.

Many online comments mentioned that Jaime Bell did a good job as St. John Rivers, but was a bit off at times, and potentially was a miscast. I wouldn’t call him a miscast, and I actually liked his version of St. John Rivers very much, but I do agree that I somehow imagined St. John Rivers to look older and more pious than Jaime Bell when I was reading the book.

Later I found out that director Cary Joji Fukunaga also directed the first season of True Detective, and it totally clicked in my head that it had the similar style of cinematography of True Detective, swapping English countryside with the swamps in New Orleans. I definitely look forward to watching Fukunaga’s new 007 “No Time to Die” movie later this year!

Sophie Zhang 7/17/21 Sophie Zhang 7/17/21

[Repost] Little Fish in a Big Pond: Post-Grad Lessons I've Learned as a First-Year Young Professional

This is an old blog I wrote back in 2018 and originally published on LinkedIn here.

Just over a year ago, I graduated from college proudly with an engineering degree, awaiting for the new chapter of my life to begin, both excitingly and anxiously. My head was full of questions after the jam-packed graduation weekend: what will it be like to work for a tech giant? What will it be like to live in a new city by myself? Am I ready to be a real adult?

Time truly flew by - now I have been working at Microsoft in Seattle for over a year as a Support Engineer MACH (Microsoft Academy for College Hires). I also just returned from the inspirational MS Ready conference in Las Vegas, which was the one-year working milestone for every first-year MACH. Looking back at my first year as a young professional, I am surprised to find how much I have grown and learned, both professionally and personally. When I found that my Instagram feed has been flooded by graduation photos and new college hires were settling into their new jobs last month, I wish to share some of the lessons I have learned during my first year working at Microsoft and living in Seattle to the young adults who just started a new chapter of their lives:

You don't have to know what you are truly passionate about at the moment, explore as many opportunities as you can, but always have a plan.

I've always loved going to conferences. Grace Hopper, SWE, MS Ready, you name it. I love listening to inspirational talks from people who are so passionate about their jobs and they can't wait for the whole world to know about their work. I've always wanted to be one of those people: I want to stand on a stage one day and proudly present the world on the work I've done passionately. However, unfortunately I don't think I have found the one thing in life that I feel the burning desire inside of me every day to accomplish the goal at the moment. I love technology, and I love helping people. I am still at an early stage of my career and I am exploring as many roles I can: engineering, program management, technical sales, etc. I did feel lost at one point because I felt like I should know what I want as a life-long career: I've always known what my goals are, but for the first time in my life, I am not so sure.

But it's okay to be not sure about where you want to take your career in the next 5, or 10 years. Explore different roles, talk to different people about their jobs, and most importantly, do your current job well, so when the opportunity comes, you can confidently talk about the good work you have done. Always have a plan for foreseeable future as well: for example, if I want to become a Supportability Program Manager or a Technology Solution Professional in the next 6 months, what projects should I take on right now to develop those required skills? How can I increase my visibility through my current role? Map out your current goals, draft a plan, work hard and have fun with it!

2. Don't compare yourself with others, both in professional achievement and personal life.

I believe that everyone follows a different path. But as a young professional, it's hard not to compare myself with my peers from time to time. I sometimes would question myself as well: why haven't I had that big promotion like my friend A? Why haven't I scored that dream role like my friend B? Why I don't have the perfect relationship that friend C is experiencing?

It's easy to compare myself and start losing faith in my ability to deliver the best work, or to love. However, it's important to remain grounded and focus on what makes you feel happy and fulfilled at the moment. I will keep performing well at work, finishing all of my tasks and exploring other opportunities, so the promotion will come as my hard work pays off; I will keep treating others kindly, pushing my boundaries to try new things and being the best version of myself, so true love will eventually come along.

3. Understand how to work with people is the key to professional success. Working for a full-time job isn't like studying for an exam in college - you won't get far without collaborations.

While in college, I was almost conditioned to think that obtaining a good GPA requires a lot of solo work. Yes there were group projects, but I also spent a lot of time alone reading textbooks and doing practice exams, which led to exceptional exam scores. But in the work place, this "superman" mentality isn't going to get me far - team work always delivers far better results, with much bigger impact. Especially at Microsoft, collaboration performance is part of the job review, so it's really important to be able to listen to your teammates, take in feedback, and understand each other's strength to get work done.

4. Be patient.

Most millennials suffer from the pain for needing instant gratification, including myself. I want everything happen fast: get that promotion quickly, snatch that new job right away, or get into that relationship immediately, etc. I have always been setting goals and chasing after them relentlessly, but I forgot that it takes time to understand a position well, build up a professional reputation, and establish the network. I forgot that I just started my professional life a year ago - there is still a long way to go and a lot to learn. For all of the type-A over-achievers out there, I want to say that, it's okay to slow down sometime: spend some time reflecting on your job or personal relationships before moving on to the next thing. Did you utilize all of the resources on your current role? Did you treat the person you are with right now fairly? Be patient with achieving your goals - remain motivated and confident that you will get there eventually, when you keep up with the good work every day!

5. Be proactive and don't be afraid to ask for things that you feel passionate about working on.

When I first started working at Microsoft, I was terrified - this is a company full of brilliant minds - I was just lucky to get my foot in the door. Therefore, I followed my manager's instructions religiously and barely spoke out. As time went by I realized that, people who contribute to the company most are the proactive ones. They are the ones who are confident and keen in observing the business needs and not afraid of pitching their ideas to others. As I became more comfortable with my role and the company, I found myself speaking out during meetings more, reaching out to people to ask for more projects and becoming less intimidated by other people. Everyone in the company has something special to contribute to, and the most successful employees are the proactive go-getters who are confident with their knowledge and abilities.

I hope my tips can help some young adults out there during their first year working at a new job and living in a new place. It certainly hasn't been easy for me to navigate personal life and career development at a large corporation. But I am so grateful of my family and friends, who have been supporting me through tough times and sharing the good times with me. I also feel very lucky working at Microsoft, for the professional platform I was given and the people I get to work with every day.

Thank you for reading my very first blog on LinkedIn, and hope you will have a wonderful start of new adventures as a young professional!

Sophie Zhang 7/17/21 Sophie Zhang 7/17/21

Book Review: The Stand (Spoiler)

Like many other Stephen King fans had commented online, reading The Stand during a global pandemic is a surreal experience.

The first part of The Stand depicted a world rapidly descends into anarchy and chaos with the spread of Captain Trips, a deadly virus with a lethal rate close to 99% and introduces flu-like symptoms at first. The government tried to cover up the truth, military troops stormed news stations and university campus to squash dissents, and people went hysterical or absolutely desperate while dealing with the inevitable passing of loved ones… the chaotic world in The Stand is the Covid-19 pandemic real life in steroids.

However, like many other Stephen King books, it is the characters that truly stand out in my opinion. It was an astronomical effort to give each of the main characters (Stu, Larry, Glen, Nick, Tom Cullen, Frannie, Lloyd, Mother Abigail and Randall Flagg) their own back stories, drastically different personalities, and fascinating interactions with each other. Even the “side characters” are all three-dimensional ones that truly made an impression on me. The honorable mentions are Ralph, Nadine, Harold, Judge Farris, Dana, Lucy, Joe/Leo, Julie Lawry and the Trashcan man.

I read somewhere online that this book is a dark Christianity tale and the God in the book is very much an Old Testament god that fights evil yet demands blood. I am an atheist so my knowledge about religion in general is very limited, however I felt that particular online comment about this book resonated with me and summarized the book perfectly.

In this book review blog post, I hope to share my thoughts about some of my favorite characters -

Nick Andros

Nick is such a badass character with an incredible development story. He is deaf and mute, and he was badly beaten by some small-town bullies when he was first mentioned in the book. However, he is brave, intelligent and kind, and he was “chosen” by God to lead a group of survivors to meet up with Mother Abigail and became the founding member of the Boulder Free Zone Committee. Even though he cannot speak or hear, and was injured in one eye (so he could barely see!), many other characters in the book described that they always feel the need to consult him during a decision-making meeting, because he always offers unique insights and is unapologetically righteous.

I was saddened by Nick’s death. A wonderful person like Nick deserves a happy life after all of the traumas that he had gone through. However since the majority of the characters in the book had tragic endings, Nick died protecting his friends, which is a somewhat comforting end.

Plus Nick was the one that first discovered Tom Cullen on his journey to meet Mother Abigail - he really is the coolest character in the book in my opinion!

Larry Underwood

Adam Storke played Larry in the 1994 miniseries

I thought Larry was insufferable in the first half of the book. He was a bit of a womanizer and mama’s boy. He was into big parties fuelled with drugs and alcohol. He was vain and insecure with his music talent. Whenever I saw that the new chapter is about Larry, I always sighed:"Really? This brat again?”

However, in the second half of the book, Larry was completely transformed into a leader, a father figure to Joe/Leo, and a faithful partner to Lucy. Granted, he had gone through some horrible things on his journey to Boulder: the loss of his mother and Rita Blakemoor, the traumatic experience to walk through the Lincoln tunnel full of dead bodies and still vehicles in darkness, the loneliness, the unrequited love from Nadine, etc. Larry started out as a brat, but in the end he was one of the heroes that sacrificed himself to make a stand in front of God and saved the Boulder Free Zone. Larry’s satisfying character development made him one of my favorite characters in the book.

Tom Cullen

Who doesn’t love Tom Cullen? M-O-O-N! Tom may not have a high IQ, but he is the kindest. the most loyal and loveable character in the book! I loved reading about Tom playing with his toy cars at Mother Abigail’s house and how much he loves Mother Abigail - it’s so adorable! Tom also has this incredible psychic ability after going into hypnosis where he can see into the future.

Tom’s journey back to Boulder with Stu is one of my favorite parts of the book. It is incredibly hear-warming: Tom nursed Stu back to health, Stu surprised Tom with a theater experience in a deserted hotel, Stu, Tom and Kojak shared a cozy Christmas together with thoughtful gifts and food. Tom’s stories are consistently positive and delightful, like a ray of sunshine in a book full of tragedies and violence.

I also have to mention that, even though Harold Lauder isn’t my favorite character at all, I find his development fascinating. In the beginning, Harold was just a high school boy who was infatuated with Frannie and was insecure about his looks. He was slightly annoying (the fact that he called dibs on Frannie annoyed me), sure, but tolerable, given his age and the apocalyptic circumstances. However he eventually surrendered to the darkness and committed unforgivable crime of killing innocent people at Boulder Free Zone. Whenever I was reading about Harold, I wish I could reach into the book (so that I can reach into that world) and punch Harold in the face. It also showed Stephen King’s superb character development and storytelling abilities - he really made me feel resentful yet sympthetic at times towards a fictional character long after I finished the book.

The Stand (unabridged version) seemed like an intimidating book to me at first due to its sheer volume - it has 1153 pages and was the longest book I have ever read. However it was an exhilarating read and I devoured the second half of the book in less than two weeks. 10/10 would recommend to any Stephen King fan and horror/thriller genre lover!

Sophie Zhang 6/8/21 Sophie Zhang 6/8/21

What is work, anyway?

I recently learned that I won’t get that promotion I’ve wanted for a year.

It was a crashing feeling. I cried and cried, then eventually became calm. In the end of this tantrum I started asking myself - why was I so upset? What is my work, and what have I accomplished in this company since my college graduation?

When I lived in mainland China, I was immersed in a school culture where grades are the only thing that mattered in my young life. From the moment I entered first grade till I transferred to a school in the U.S. as a high school junior, getting a higher mark on the next exam and thus obtaining a higher rank on the school stack-ranking system were my only goals in life. I was instilled with the doctrine that if I do well in school, I would do well in life. Because hard work will always pay off, right?

I have always prized myself for being extremely adaptable to new environment, evidenced by my fluency in a second language (English) and acclimation into American culture. However, recently I’ve realized that the competitive school environment in my childhood and adolescent years had largely shaped me into who I am today - I constantly compare myself with my peers on everything in my life: job titles, salaries, promotion velocity, popularity, etc. I rarely spoke about any of these thoughts with my friends, or even with my partner, but deep down, I’ve kept a secret list of things that I measure myself against my peers and kept tabs on them.

This mentality is certainly unhealthy and exhausting. I realized more and more that it kept me from living in the moment and made me always think about what I don’t have, instead of appreciating the things I do have. For example, I was so upset about not getting a promotion because I felt that I am so behind in job levels compared to my peers. But I forgot that I am very lucky to have a high-paying job during a global pandemic, still remain healthy and all of my loved ones are healthy too. I was laser-focused on the one thing I don’t have right now and ignored many other blessings in life.

Yes, to be honest, most of the people who was hired at the same year as me are at least a level or two higher than me right now. But I did switch teams two times, had to go on an extended visa leave last year when my US work authorization had run out but my Canadian work permit was still pending (a story for another time!) and one of my work projects lost some of its priorities. And partially, I also do think it took me a long time to understand how to be a program manager in an engineering team, and figure out what my day-to-day responsibilities are to my team.

What is work, anyway? I suspected that the ingrained Chinese school culture in me also played a role in my confusion during the first two years of my professional life. I have always been a good student all my life: I attended lectures diligently and always finished my assignment on time. Most importantly, as an engineering student, there are always standard answers to my questions. Working in a big company, on the other hand, was a 180-degree change for me, because working isn’t about doing what exactly my manager tells me to do every step of the way, but instead, it is more about coming up with solutions to problems that sometimes no one, not even my manager, knows how to solve (at least this is my tech company experience. Other industry jobs might differ). I was so used to being told by my teachers in school what the correct answers are to exam questions, so I was expecting my managers to assign me “homework” every day and tell me whether I did it right later - I was wrong to think that way!

For the first time in my life, I face the daily challenge of solving issues where standard answers usually don’t exist. Working almost feels like getting mini-PhDs every day: you only get your PhD when you’ve contributed to a new area of your study where no one else had done the same discovery before; you’ve done good work when you’ve developed a new feature which didn’t exist before or solved a new issue where no one knew how to solve in the past. You’ve gone from zero to one. It’s terrifying and exhilarating at the same time.

Comparing myself professionally with other people will never make me happy, and it will not help me enjoy my current life. I’ve learned that as long as I have my goals, and I work hard to achieve them, I shall have no regrets and start to enjoy every minute of my current life. Let’s cheers to that!

[7/17/21] Happy note: it looks like I will get that promotion this year in the end! I was pleasantly surprised. However, my thoughts above remain the same.